I Chose You: A Letter To My Trans Child

Dear Trans Child,

I chose you.

I received a call asking if I would be willing to foster you. They said you were an animal lover. They told me that you were quiet and quirky. They said you were a good kid who had gotten some tough breaks. They told me you were transgender. Without hesitation, I chose you. I appreciate people who love animals, and I too am quirky. My heart felt drawn to you. It knew that your gender identity was just a small piece of a much bigger picture.

I told my friends about you at lunch. They seemed excited for me. When I mentioned that you were trans a weird silence overcame some of them. They were my friends. Why weren’t they happy for me? For you? For us? They weren’t happy because they were afraid. I could see it in their eyes. I knew it was not because they were bad people, but because they were misinformed and undereducated. I could have let that silence stifle my excitement. I could have called the agency and told them that I changed my mind, but I didn’t. I chose you.

When you came to my home you didn’t speak. I can’t imagine how you were feeling. You did not really speak to me for quite some time, but I continued to choose you. I showed you that I was an ally, and that my main goal was to help you become a happy person.

In time, I gained your trust. You started opening up to me. I asked tough questions and you answered them with honesty. Slowly, but surely, you were choosing me too.

News articles, television segments, and incessant social media posts started to pop up about how transgender people shouldn’t be able to use certain bathrooms. I reassured you over and over that even when the world was an ugly place I would still choose you. Even if some people did not welcome you into their bathrooms I made it very clear that you were more than welcome in my home.

I watched you bloom. You started changing with each new day. You were growing into yourself. I could tell that you felt safe, and that made my heart smile.

As each day passes you continue to blow me away. You are smart. You are extremely funny. You are kind. You’re an athlete. You’re trans. All of these things make you special. None of them should cause you shame. They are the pieces that make up the remarkable person that is you.

I chose you, and I will continue to choose you for the rest of my life. We are a team. We are a force to be reckoned with. We are a family. Choosing you was one of the best decisions I have ever made. When the world tries to bring you down, I will be there to raise you up. When you’re told you’re not good enough, I will remind you that you are. When you don’t feel lovable, I will love you.

When you feel like this world is an ugly place, just remember…I chose you.


Your Foster Mom

The author asked to remain anonymous.